Lent Day 24 – It’s Working Out

Once again, this season has been an intentional move into less and more space for intentional connection with God. My addiction to more has not let up or let go easily. Many days my obsession with more gets the best of me, literally. The more of busyness and consumption can take away my best energy, my best focus and my best efforts. There is another phenomena that occurs when I move into less. Undistracted by external noise, I can more clearly hear my internal noise. Again, the noise of my own fears and insecurities rise to the surface and are seen and heard. What becomes clear is my motivation for more. More distracts me from myself. It distracts me from all of my fears and insecurities. Today as I moved into less I heard a new fear with crystal clarity.

Inside of me is a historical belief that has rattled around in the background of my heart and mind like a really annoying noise maker. Deeply rooted within me is a belief that, “it’s not going to work out for me.” “It” can be almost anything; significant relationships, strong family, successful career, financial security, etc. Obviously this creates a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety. So, I think more obsessively, work harder, sleep less trying to hold back the inevitability of “it” not working out for me. In my time of silence and seclusion today, the internal messaging of “it’s not going to work out for me” hit like a ton of bricks. It was as if I was discovering an old belief for the very first time. I realized why I give plenty of reason and excuses to my doomed disappointment or failure. The revelation showed me my propensity for procrastination, playing it small and safe, and being frozen in indecision. Fear of it all not working out has been running a lot of my life and stealing my hope and joy.

Today, in the midst of the uncomfortable silence and belief that it is not working out for me, I heard another voice. I heard the voice of the Eternal Father letting me know, “I got you and it is all working out!” I was reminded of the amazing people and friends God has paced in my life. I have people who truly love me and care for me. I was reminded of the amazing opportunities I have and purposes I get to be a part of. I was reminded of the Eternal Father who is always with me, always loving me. I was reminded that I’m taken care of and deeply loved. He is bent the Universe in my favor and it is working out and will work out.

Romans 8:28 (NLT) is a popular verse that states, “And we know that God is causes everything to work together (to work out) for those who love God and are called according to his purposes for them.” Though I question my love for God and being called according to his purpose I don’t have to doubt what Paul tells us in Romans 8:38 (NLT). “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, life can’t. The angels can’t, the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away.” Paul goes on to say that nothing in all the word can separate us from God’s love. Today I will continue to hear and trust, “it’s all working out!”