Lent Day 19 – Grinch Hearts

At the very end of Dr. Seuss’s, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Grinch realizes that his attempt to ruin Christmas was unsuccessful as he hears the town of Whoville singing and celebrating without their presents. He has a moment of epiphany. “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas means more.” I like the Jim Carrey Grinch that goes into agonizing convulsions and tells his dog, “Max, help me! I’m feeling!” The narrator goes on to say, “the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day.” The story finishes up with the Grinch heroically and sacrificially saving the Whoville Christmas he tried to destroy. In the moment he experienced that something “means more” his heart shifted in painful seizing. His heart was growing inside of him. When we discover that which “means more” we are susceptible to greater levels of pain and agony that come from empathy, compassion and sacrifice. There is a risk inherent in a life that “means more.” There is an exposure to agony and even suffering. It is unavoidable if we are live a life that is bigger than our own and connected to a bigger world than ourselves.

Last week a friend from out-of-town was visiting. He is a person who is constantly inspiring me. He lives a remarkable life. He lives with big risks, wild adventures and endless connections. However, what is most inspiring to me is the risk he and his wife took in adopting children with unspeakably abusive histories and subsequent disabilities. Their story of rescuing these kids follows a script that belongs in a Hollywood suspense thriller. They took on becoming “mom” and “dad” to these children knowing that the cost would be severe. And, the cost has been beyond what they could imagine. The daily challenges of never-ending doctor and therapy appointments, the temper tantrums, the limited educational resources, the fights with the “system” to advocate for their kid’s needs are all so heartbreaking and soul-draining. I seriously don’t know how they do it. The behavioral risks of one their kids can be life-threatening. I asked my friend, what he has learned about himself through the experiencing of adopting and raising these kids? He replied, with tears welling in the corners of his eyes, “There is more love in my heart than I ever imagined.” I sat stunned at his response. Through heartbreaking tragedies, daily struggles and cliff hanger risks, my friend’s heart has grown exponentially. He is fiercely loyal and extravagantly generous. He is deeply committed to a life of faith on the edge. He lives it out. He showed me that by living a life that “means more” than the next big paycheck, the next recognized accomplishment or the extravagant vacations the heart grows bigger and bigger. He takes risks in the direction of sacrifice and love which cause him tremendous pain and suffering. Yet, his life “means more” and his heart is huge.

I’m tempted to live a safe, comfortable and risk free life. So much of my life is spent avoiding risk, pain and suffering. I choose to “mean less” so I don’t have to feel. I know that this trivial pursuit is a game of small shriveled hearts and meaningless living. Jesus said, “To gain your life, you must lose it.” I must be willing to lose my risk-free living, playing it small and pain avoidance. I must be willing to feel the agony of a life that “means more” and allow my heart to grow a few sizes. Today, I will look for opportunities to lose the small life of comfort and safety to gain the life of compassion, sacrifice and big-heartedness.