Lent Day 27 - Pain Beyond Expertise

Today was a tough day in the office. Again, as a therapist I'm invited into the most intimate and painful places of people's experiences. Some of the experiences far exceed my own which can create a fear of inadequacy in my ability to guide well. It is a very difficult place for me to know I'm in-over-my-head as a professional. One of those experiences is the deep pain of grief due to the unexpected loss of a loved one, especially the loss of a child. There has been loses in my life, but not one of them has been incredibly close or incredibly unexpected. I certainly can't even bear to think of losing my wife or one of my boys. It is a taboo thought and even worse to mention.

In my work, I have had the opportunity and privilege to guide people through the grief and loss process. Yet, there is a gnawing doubt inside of me as I guide the process knowing that those I work with are journeying a painful country I've never been to. Today was one of those days. I sat with an unspeakably broken-hearted soul who lost a child. I sat and cried alongside and mostly just listened with the best empathy and care I could muster. I had no expertise advice or personal experience to draw upon. I just had a listening ear, tuned into the excruciating pain.

Today, the pain showed up as intense and understandable anger over the loss. There was no present comfort to be found. To try to rescue or explain the anger only seemed trivial and disrespectful. The anger was honest, real and powerful, so I simply gave permission for it. Eventually, I asked her, "In the midst of what your experiencing today, what do you know, that you know?" She replied, "I know that eventually I will be fine." I followed up with, "how do you know that?" She quickly replied, "I know that it will work out in the end because we will be together again." She was deeply hurting, incredibly angry and solidly hopeful.

Today, I will not take for granted that I know, that I know that life lives on after this life. There is an ultimate reality that extends far beyond the baffling pain of this life.There is a life that ends all death and Jesus shows the way. We all know that there is an inevitable death. My faith rests upon an inevitable life that extends beyond death. This is no small belief. This is hope itself. The resurrection of Jesus is a reality that defines all other realities. If it is not true, I join the Apostle Paul in declaring that, "we are to be pitied more than all men." As I believe that it is true, as the powerful people who have journeyed deeply painful loss before me have shown, I need to be continually reminded that death is not final chapter, resurrection is.