Lent Day 2 – Walking Away from The Big Deal

I want to be a big deal. I want to be known as a person of great influence, impact and reputation. I want to be a part of big work, big ideas and big impressions. Admittedly, this comes with a mix of motivations. I can truly say I want goodness and love to expand in the world and over-take our lives. I want goodness and love to be big deal and I want to be a part of its bigness. However, there is another part of me that wants to be a big deal, because I want to be seen as powerful, important and admired. There is a subtle, but very strong selfish ambition and ego-mania behind the façade of wanting to be a big deal for good causes.  

Much of my life I’ve struggled with the belief and feelings of not being good enough or not important. There is a real fear and pain in those two beliefs. As a result, I’ve feared being left out, unseen or discarded. So I go to work on building an impressive resume and showing up to impressive events with impressive people. Ironically, all of my best hatched plans to make myself “enough” and “important” have never had a lasting impact to cure my disease of shame and fear of insignificance. Even the opportunities, titles or accomplishments that would indicate I’m a big deal have never made a lasting impression on my broken heart and soul. Chasing the big deal requires a lot of energy, a lot of obsession and a lot stress which only leaves me tired and wanting in the end.

Jesus shows me another way. He was a tradesman in a rural and sleepy town. He had no grand reputation, envied resume or special gifting to rely one. The Gospels tells us that at the moment in which he would march into changing life on planet Earth Jesus ventured into obscurity and oblivion. He did the exact opposite of what would be a really big deal move. He retreated to the wilderness to strip himself of all the trappings of this life. The Bible says he fasted. He didn’t eat. That’s crazy. Yet, even crazier is that he went from being little known to being completely unknown. He walked straight into obscurity and sought to know and be known exclusively by God the Father. He sought focus and clarity for his identity and purpose. I also believe he sought connection and security in the source of all Creation and Love. Jesus became less. He didn’t avoid obscurity, he embraced it. He was actually strengthened by it. By the time the Enemy of Souls came and tempted him with becoming a really big deal through power, possessions and fame Jesus strongly declined and renounced those trappings and moved into his work (Matthew 4:1-11). The last 2000 years of Human History says that Jesus became a really big deal.

Today, in my pursuit of less I will leave behind becoming a big deal. Rather, I will try to seek what Jesus sought and embrace my obscurity in a world of really big deals. I will seek the Comforter, Lover and Lifter of my broken-heart while staying eyes wide open to the empty traps of power, possessions and popularity. I will look to seek significance in the Source of all meaning. I will move into serving those without titles or names to advancement of my self-interests. I will simply try to “be” and walk away from the “Big Deal.”

Lent Day 1 – All You Need is Less

I find myself out of step, out of touch and out of time. Somehow I ended up in a place in life where I’m chasing the sun across the day’s sky feeling constantly behind and grasping for fleeting motivation. Life again has sped up out of control and the current newsfeeds only leave me with the latest anxiety-provoking event. I can’t seem to pull away from the false connection of social media while feeling a sense of emptiness or being left out of everyone else’s wonderful life. Though I am busier than ever, more frantic and under the tyranny of one more important “should” I feel I’m somehow missing “out” or missing “it.” There is a sneaky insanity that has settled in as I have compulsively consumed my life with “more” yet feeling so much “less.” Though I’m flooded with more information, more technology, more opportunity than I could ever imagine, I am paralyzed by stagnant indecision. I find myself wandering down the endless landscape of distraction.

This is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season in which the Christian tradition typically makes an arbitrary and self-congratulatory sacrifice of giving something up for the 40 days. I have half-hearted participated in this season of “sacrifice” only to find that my weak resolve lasts about a week or two. Another New Year’s Resolution-type of decision that lasts for a while and fades into the magnetic field of life as it was. However, I’m not blind to the importance of seasons. Seasons help remind us that there is something larger than our lives that is constant and cannot be stopped. Seasons invite into the natural rhythms of life. The spiritual seasons help bring focus to what is most essential and lasting in a distracted and temporary world. Also, I’ve found I need constant guidance for the season, not just a white-knuckle grip to giving up something. So, I seek the Creator of seasons as the guide for this season.

Jesus, the Creator of season talks a lot about farming. He says we are the branches and he is the vine. He says that everything that doesn’t produce fruit he can cut back, so that more fruit can eventually grow. For the farmer of the vineyard, the pruning season is critical. The season to cut-back when there are more opportunities to grow or to overgrow. So, I enter into this season desiring less, to be pruned back. I’m not looking to give up coffee, social media or cussing. I’m not giving up sugar, complaining or self-obsession. I’m seeking to give up “more.” It is in the spirit of less that I desire to move forward. I desire to move into life lighter, freer and more focused.

A friend of mine is a video and content marketer. A couple years ago he developed a stunningly beautiful commercial/video piece for a luxury vacation company. The scenic shots were from breath-taking locations around the Scandinavian world, away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. His brilliant tag line was, “all you need is less.” Truly, all I need is less. This Lenten season I want to strip away the endless, mindless distractions and the wild pursuit of more to seek less of this frantic life and more of God’s divine connection. This season I will keep my eyes and heart wide-open for opportunities for less while tuning into more of the Jesus among us. I will leave the land of endless distraction to enter into more focus. All I need is less!

Less is a move into vulnerability, risk, and ultimately, trust. To remove the tireless pursuit of more and into the scary focus on less takes courage and faith. St. Luke recalls a story in which Jesus responds to the frantic complaint of Martha scurrying to tidy up her place. Her complaint is that her sister is not busying herself with all the tasks of preparation and hosting. Mary, Martha’s sister is simply hanging out with Jesus. Mary has shown up and attuned to her guest. Jesus let’s Martha know, certainly to her disappointment, that Mary has chosen the better thing. Mary is not distracted by all of accolades of an immaculate house and good personal appearances. She has simply shown-up, fully focused and present to Jesus. Jesus tells Martha, “you are concerned about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one thing. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her” (Luke 10:38-42, NIV). I want to radically pursue the better, the necessary thing, the thing that cannot be taken. It will require I stop the distracting pursuit of all other things. This season I will seek to remain focused on the one thing while leaving endless distraction behind. I will being the pursuit of less.

reLENTless Project

I'm a husband, father, business owner/therapist and chaser-after-God. After feeling spiritually dry, I wanted to take advantage of the Lent season as a kick start to a deeper connection to myself and God. After doing a little research for a Lenten Devotional I was frustrated I couldn't find anything that really spoke to me. So, I decided to take the Lent season as a time for more silence and solitude and write my reflections. I wasn't sure if I could keep up for the full 40 days. Well, after writing for the past 8 days, my wife and a couple of friends have encouraged me to actually post my reflections. So, here they are. Please give me grammatical grace as I write these on the fly.

Feel free to engage, reflect and reply.